So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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