it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
