drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
