To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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