Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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