Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
