there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
