Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
