AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
