so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
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