Are we in a gay sports bar?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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