i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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