there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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