I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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