let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
