This dress was meant to end up on your floor
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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