Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
