Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
