Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
