The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize