I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just burned my penis
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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