i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
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