I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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