i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize