I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
