i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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