i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
