Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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