I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
