margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
