so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
