At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize