Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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