it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
