he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
