i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
