hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He felt like a one man threesome
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
