This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
