): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
