i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
worst night to have a conscience
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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