Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
