My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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