I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
