You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
