You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I supernannyed him into submission
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