I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
