I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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