I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
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Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
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Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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