i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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