After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
jump out the window naked night went bad
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
