Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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