I hate all girls vehemently.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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