I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
