Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
