Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
My penis needs a shock collar
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
