I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
