i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
