Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
